Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Love Shine

Happy Valentine's day to my family and friends!

I'm grateful for this "love day" and the light it shines along the path. Our daily living is like unto a journey. And we are trying our best to go along, creating memories, working, worshiping, being responsible adults etc. And along the way, as we go day by day, our view and vision can get a little dim. Same routines, same folks, same rhythms of life.

But there is this "love shine" I call it. And it is so pretty! It's soft and gentle, and amazing and unique. And it's the moments, and people, and times when acts of love, shine bright along the journey.

Today is full of them, and I am happy to see them, people showing and sharing love and appreciation. In my book it will never be a bad thing, to let those you love, know that you love them.

And the rest of the year will be full of love shine moments too, if we can remember to be present. To actually engage with people, and be open to sharing life and love.

Love shines bright today, and I wanted to say I LOVE YOU dearly to the family and friends who are like sparkling stars in my life.

Thank you all for your love for me, and the caring thoughtfulness of my amazing people, who love me in amazing yet simple ways. Happy, happy Valentine's day to you:)

Monday, January 1, 2018

2017 a review and 2018 a preview

Happy 2018! Greetings from a very quiet and chill start to the new year. Here we are again, standing at the hopeful and glittering start of a new year, and I am so happy! I am really looking forward to these next 365 days and what they could bring.

Looking back at 2017, goodness, hmmmmm, it was quite a year! Lessons in loss and how to love and support those who grieve. I put on my counselor hat and encourager hat A LOT this year. I used my hands and continued to find the absolute joy of making and creating!! Politics and world events definitely left me feeling like we must be in the end times. I enjoyed many trips home and time with my precious family. 2017 saw me reach fitness and health goals. 2017 saw some personal hurts that forced me to turn the page and choose growth and healing (thank God above for his healing, especially of my fragile heart and feelings/emotions). I am thankful for 2017, but I do gratefully look ahead to unwrapping 2018! I am hoping it is more like a gift, beautiful and surprising.

As always, I will preview some parts of a fresh new year. 2018 here we come!

* Friends and family I know will have babies and grow their families through adoption, and begin new relationships, and get engaged, and get married ( Marriage is a good thing, a very good thing and I love to see my loved ones find their person and commit to married life.). And I will continue to pray hard for some extra special single friends, that their time for love would dawn very soon:) 
* People that I know and love will pass away or suffer through illness
I will continue to pray and ask comfort for those who lost loved ones in 2017.
* Financially, I am redoing the budget, and dedicating myself to a fantastic 2018 of paying down what I owe and saving for my dreams. These times WILL bring forth a bountiful harvest.
* Faithfully, the Scripture I am bringing into 2018 with me, and will be praying for others and myself is Galatians 6:9
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. 
YES, 2018 you are a due season year! I need you to be, and I am claiming it in boldness and faith!
*Developing roots here in Tallahassee, but also seeking growth in the arena of work.
*Allowing myself to do a little bit more dreaming, just because I want to:) 
* Relationship land, hahaha I need a map because it's that unclear;) 
* Turning 33 (to party or not to party, that is the question)
* My travel plans are still developing...who knows, and that is just fine. Though 2 weddings, a graduation, and an extra special housewarming look promising this year:) 

For 7 years I have closed the same way, and that is not going to change this year:) Love you all!
Now with all of that said I will say this.....2018 is a completely unknown entity. Sure, I know some things but they are so tiny compared to what I have no idea about. The key is to hold fast to God, have faith and grace, love my family and friends, and be the very best Sabrina Maude Stewart that I can be.....that should not be too hard ( I am kidding) it will probably take me 365 days to kind of get it right!

Sunday, August 27, 2017

In a Week

Last week was a doozy! Sad news, really hard news, then amazing news! All in one week! My little heart was all over the map last week. Whew, but I am so grateful to serve a living God. A God who is "the way, the truth and the life". I had to rely so much last week on prayer. Tears as prayer, groanings as prayer, and even questions and great praise as prayer.

I wanted to look back and just remember that God is faithful. That his ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts. I was reminded last week that we need to cling to the Lord. And also, I was reminded to slow my mind and life down. Take it one day at a time, which I almost never do. But it's a new top priority. And in general a less stress way to live. And I can use a few lessons in less stress.

Also, last week was a reminder to return to God and thank him for answered prayers. There is a Bible story about 10 lepers. And after being healed, only 1 returned and gave thanks. Just like human nature right? That story has always resonated with me, and so in the midst of it all last week, I returned and thanked God for a special answered prayer that has spanned over the last 2ish years.

A new week is here. But most importantly, today is here and I am thankful.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Claim It!

August has started off as the month of amazing foundations being built for the future. I have kept saying to myself over and over, "Claim it!". I know I will look back one day and see even more clearly, how this month swept in some great changes in the life of a Sabrina.

In finances, I have saved, and most importantly I have a plan. It might take 3-5 years to see the ultimate fruits of my labor, but I have such a great feeling about what is to come. This is the season of planting, and the harvest will in time be a home that I can purchase. Not yet but one day.

In work, I am starting year 4 at my school. And year 4 of being back in Tallahassee. And though my very nature and personality get kinda antsy, and future focused. The mantra is to stay, and relax, and be still. I am working diligently and I do think in the future, years from now, a new thing will show itself in the form of a job opportunity. Not yet but one day.

In faith, I am praying, believing, and growing. I am not a finished product, and I actively need and ask God to help me overcome me. To show me his will and purpose for my life. It's a season where some weeds would try and creep in, but the master gardener is using Scripture, prayer, and his people to garden my spirit. I'll never arrive per say, but journeying with the Lord is the goal.

In relationships, I have had to struggle with the balance beam of putting myself out there, and reality. The conclusion is loud and clear, right now is not the time for me to be dating anyone. Gotta get my mind clear, and heart and emotions in tune. Gotta get the dreams and reality in sync. And I would not want to drag someone else into that unresolved stuff. Now I would truly enjoy some mellow companionship...a football watching, home-cooked food tasting, park walking, Christian man in my life. But maybe it's something for later. I have to have much faith, because I just don't know, and can't force or plan or schedule it. Not yet but one day.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Mothers Are...Part 2

In tribute to Mother's Day 2017

I wrote Part 1 last year, it is here if you want to take a peek. It is one of my favorites! 

Mothers are insightful. How did she get the "hidden" meaning in my tone? There is something about a mom that always gets to the heart of the matter. We might say the same story to three different people, but it is only mama who follows through with those leading, probing questions that get to the crux of the issue. Of course they can get a little too close for comfort, but you know, I think that's their right, considering that they birthed/raised us and all;)

Mothers are strong. Have you noticed how fearless she is? Mothers are courageous, risk-takers. They are always prepared and capable of saving the day. It's uncanny how they can be in pain or trouble, but rest assured, t
hey are not going to go down without a fight. Mom's are loyal and protective and their drive and strength are the foundations on which most of us still rely upon (in some way). Even to this day.

Mothers are deep! Hold on, can you say that one more time? Mothers can assess a situation and give you an interpretation that will stand the tests of time. Moms are character builders, not here to entertain the foolishness of the present time, but to impart wisdom to last us through the years. Mamas can still make us remember the very best of ourselves, and try and present that self to the world. Your fanciest degrees or travel experiences will not beat the depth of a talk with mom, at the kitchen table. And that is priceless. 

Mothers are surprising. What in the world is she doing over there? Just when you think you have her figured out, wham! Nope, go back to square one and try again. Moms can change and adapt as needed. They can move and fluctuate to adjust to temperamental teens, angsty young adults, clinging infants, and stubborn "grown-up" children. It is a true spectacle to behold, how a mother is both steady yet unpredictable. It can boggle the mind, which again is more than ok since they birthed and raised us! 

So, to all of the mothers out there. The new ones with "arm babies", the mature ones whose babies have their own babies now. To the mothers who can still run around the yard and those who are pushed in a wheelchair from place to place. To mothers who have lost and those who have gained. And especially to one special groups, so near to my heart. To the women who want to be mothers. To the silent struggle, to the desire that is unanswered yet. Have faith my warriors, know you are loved and I am praying for you! Happy Mother's Day to you all! 

Friday, April 21, 2017

31 was...

Another birthday will be here in a week! Another time to reflect and celebrate the life of Sabrina. And I am thankful and joyful to get ready to enjoy a fun birthday:) I am a birthday girl at heart, loving to get together and enjoy a month of smiles in April!

As I have done in the past, I wanted to look back over a year. 31, I don't want to close you out without taking some moments with you, to see how the 365 days went. Hint: They went really, really well!

31 was musical...
I started out my birthday weekend last year, in Jax, seeing, singing and dancing to Motown the Musical. And that lively spirit has followed me all through 31. This year was me singing to Smokey Robinson, Boyz II Men, Backstreet Boys, and making plans to sing to John Legend and Bruno Mars (SO excited!).....yeah, so you could definitely say, I was feeling the music this year.

31 was healthier habits...
Sometimes you get hints in life. Hints to really be careful and alert. And so by October, I was ready (which is the biggest thing I think) to be serious about losing weight and getting lighter. Ready to move from words, into actions. So I signed up for Weight Watchers (tried and true and so helpful to me!!). Kinda crazy to sign up, right as the fabulous and fattening holiday season began....hahaha, but that's how I roll;) Anyway, then I got a Fitbit in January. And now it's April and I have lost 20lbs and I am so excited and proud of the healthier me, who now seeks opportunities to choose health.

31 was looking forward...
I am an old soul, and so I have great friends in a variety of age ranges. So, I had to catch myself this year, because I started thinking that I was further along than I really am. Kinda crazy! So the mature side of me, feels like I am older than 31, but I need to keep my feet planted in this year, this time. I looked forward and ahead a lot this year. And I hoped, and wished for some of the big things that I would love to see in my future. What things? I look forward to a faithful, dedicated marriage relationship. Raising a family together and doing my best to be a Godly wife and mother. Yeah, those kinds of beautiful things:) Until then, I'm enjoying the freedom and excitement of the current season. It's a delicate balance. One I am still working on getting right.

32, I can't wait to meet you! 31, thank you for being wonderful!

Saturday, December 31, 2016

2016 a review & 2017- A preview

Happy New Year's Eve my family and friends!!! Closing out 2016....I am thankful that I have the opportunity to do it and also grateful for the year (though it was an odd one I will gladly admit).

Yours truly is off to the beach, to ring in 2017 with a wonderful friend, and the plan is to wake up (not too hard for an early bird like me) and walk on the beach to welcome in 2017. Calm, gorgeous, peaceful, and right smack dab in the middle of God's creation...yep that's pretty much exactly where I want to be!

To look back over an entire 365 days is quite a feat, so I won't be doing that here. It was a full year, I laughed a lot, I cried some, I grew up a-lot. Yep, 2016 saw an election, the most generous holiday assistance program for my school ever, Julie's wedding, health hiccups for my sister, and moving to my wonderful, just right for me, little place.  2016 was 31, sticking to financial goals (though the pace be slow), and starting to truly commit and change habits for physical/health goals.

In a few moments, I will get some hot tea, and open my "2016 memory mason jar"!!! Started last year on 1-1-16, I am giddy to look back at mementos for the year! And I already went to the store to buy a new one for 2017. And, speaking of 2017, below is a smidge of a preview of the next 365:)

* Friends and family I know will have babies and grow their families, and begin new relationships, and get engaged, and get married ( I am a little romantic and just love a good love story!) and some might beak-up. 
* People that I know and love will pass away or suffer through illness
I will walk along with those I love as they work through loss, and be really humble and grateful for the protection and health of my family. I do not take that for granted!
* The finances, like a slow locomotive, chugging along life's path. Slowly building steam toward a brighter financial future. I plan on working this summer to give my finances an additional boost ( no sacrifice no reward, right??). 
* My walk of faith, may it continue to blossom in faith, hope, and obedience to the way that Christ is calling me to live and love. Teaching the kiddies on Sunday mornings, and continuing to pray, pray, & PRAY! My main motto is that, "God will provide." Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.A reminder for busy-body me to chill out, and trust more. I am not as in charge as I like to think.
* The stable, consistent part of me, wants roots. And I want them here. So, to just keep investing in my Tally community, is part of 2017 for me.
* Getting to know someone, dating, relationships, etc. I am about as nervous as nervous can be, which makes me just shy away from the whole thing. But, courage is needed and deep breathing;) All I can really say is, we shall see.
* Turning 32 (who me??......yeah I guess;))
Travel lite in 2017. But one super-awesome sister's weekend in Las Vegas is on the books!!! Happy dance!!

For the past 6  years I have used the words below to end these posts. So here we go, because tradition means something to this girl! 
Now with all of that said I will say this.....2017 is a completely unknown entity. Sure, I know some things but they are so tiny compared to what I have no idea about. The key is to hold fast to God, have faith and grace, love my family and friends, and be the very best Sabrina Maude Stewart that I can be.....that should not be too hard ( I am kidding) it will probably take me 365 days to kind of get it right!