Wednesday, April 25, 2018

32 was...

Can you believe that yours truly will be 33 in a few days?? My birthday is fast approaching and I have a weekend filled with fun planned (of course), but I do think I have not talked about it and dropped hints as much as in previous years (I think....). So as one birthday gets ready to arrive in a flood of goodness. Let's look back at the year that has gone by.

32 was searching....
It was a year of searching and also admitting that I don't hold all the answers. I am searching in the area of work and this year I allowed myself to be brave. I mean, why not Stewart! There I was, always encouraging others, and there I was, not taking my own advice. So I really sat and prayed and looked at my skills and gifts. And I tell you the search has been fruitful. And I think the main thing is that this is the season for change, for a Sabrina. The search is not done, but I know, I just know the answer is going to be awesome!

32 was back to basics....
In my spiritual life, I know that this year was about strength in the spiritual disciplines. Particularly, prayer and Bible reading. It was the year that I finished the book Fervent by Priscilla Shirer. And as I read, I crafted some strong prayers. And I went back to getting on my knees, beside my bed, and praying before I headed off to work. And some prayers were words, and some were sighs, and some were tears, and some were just me, hands open, asking God to help me put aside my will, and embrace his will. Also, during my 32nd year, I got back into Bible reading. The Scriptures are key to Christian living, and over the years, I was good at reading bits and pieces and devotionals, but I had slacked on more purposed reading of God's word. I am so happy to get back to basics in this area, and take prayer and Scripture reading with me into 33. They make my life better and provide me purpose.

32 was "figureitoutable"
I saw something on line, and it said, "Everything is figureitoutable." And you know, I just kinda love that. I love that silly, made-up conglomeration of words:) My mind was busy this year. I'm a counselor, and so both at work and play, I often am actively listening and responding. I sometimes hold the news before it hits the presses. I sometimes, hold the hurts, when people are really struggling. And so this year, I figured it out for others and also for myself. And I'm still figuring it out, if I am honest. But 32 did have this brain doing the work of seeing what thoughts, dreams, and ideas are worthwhile, which needed to be reshaped, and which are just not a good fit, in the life of a Sabrina. 

Happy almost birthday beautiful girl:)  Yeah, that's another thing from 32, easing up on myself, and correcting my self-talk, to be more positive and encouraging!

Tuesday, March 13, 2018


Spring, Spring, Spring!

There is a special type of perfection in Spring. I think because my eyes can see it so clearly. The sky is such a vivid blue, after the gray of winter. The bushes of perfect, pink azaleas are so alive, after the brown limbs of winter. And you know, my ears can hear Spring. During my morning walks now, I can hear the incessant chirping of the birds, and they seem to be soaring just a little lighter on the Spring breezes, singing as they go. Of course I can feel it. From gusty, frigid winds to casual, tepid breezes. Spring feels good on my skin, and when I stop and let the sun shine down on me, and actually stop and feel it! Awwww, I tell you, that right there is some Springtime bliss.

So in honor of a beautiful season, here are some goals for the next few months.

- Get back out and get fit! No more excuses, Sabring girl, out you go, armed with allergy meds and water!

- Mother Nature is literally birthing her bounty in fruits and vegetables. Don't ignore that and get to cooking fresh seasonal foods.

- Clean it up. What? My thoughts, my place, my office, my life in general. Sweep out the dusty corners and embrace what is new. Bust out the supplies and forge ahead in creativity and freshness. Actually put your mind to old tasks, but in new ways. Stretch yourself and be a little more courageous, Ms. Stewart.

Happy Spring to my family and friends both near and far. May you be refreshed in good works and sun-shiney, positive vibes!

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Love Shine

Happy Valentine's day to my family and friends!

I'm grateful for this "love day" and the light it shines along the path. Our daily living is like unto a journey. And we are trying our best to go along, creating memories, working, worshiping, being responsible adults etc. And along the way, as we go day by day, our view and vision can get a little dim. Same routines, same folks, same rhythms of life.

But there is this "love shine" I call it. And it is so pretty! It's soft and gentle, and amazing and unique. And it's the moments, and people, and times when acts of love, shine bright along the journey.

Today is full of them, and I am happy to see them, people showing and sharing love and appreciation. In my book it will never be a bad thing, to let those you love, know that you love them.

And the rest of the year will be full of love shine moments too, if we can remember to be present. To actually engage with people, and be open to sharing life and love.

Love shines bright today, and I wanted to say I LOVE YOU dearly to the family and friends who are like sparkling stars in my life.

Thank you all for your love for me, and the caring thoughtfulness of my amazing people, who love me in amazing yet simple ways. Happy, happy Valentine's day to you:)

Monday, January 1, 2018

2017 a review and 2018 a preview

Happy 2018! Greetings from a very quiet and chill start to the new year. Here we are again, standing at the hopeful and glittering start of a new year, and I am so happy! I am really looking forward to these next 365 days and what they could bring.

Looking back at 2017, goodness, hmmmmm, it was quite a year! Lessons in loss and how to love and support those who grieve. I put on my counselor hat and encourager hat A LOT this year. I used my hands and continued to find the absolute joy of making and creating!! Politics and world events definitely left me feeling like we must be in the end times. I enjoyed many trips home and time with my precious family. 2017 saw me reach fitness and health goals. 2017 saw some personal hurts that forced me to turn the page and choose growth and healing (thank God above for his healing, especially of my fragile heart and feelings/emotions). I am thankful for 2017, but I do gratefully look ahead to unwrapping 2018! I am hoping it is more like a gift, beautiful and surprising.

As always, I will preview some parts of a fresh new year. 2018 here we come!

* Friends and family I know will have babies and grow their families through adoption, and begin new relationships, and get engaged, and get married ( Marriage is a good thing, a very good thing and I love to see my loved ones find their person and commit to married life.). And I will continue to pray hard for some extra special single friends, that their time for love would dawn very soon:) 
* People that I know and love will pass away or suffer through illness
I will continue to pray and ask comfort for those who lost loved ones in 2017.
* Financially, I am redoing the budget, and dedicating myself to a fantastic 2018 of paying down what I owe and saving for my dreams. These times WILL bring forth a bountiful harvest.
* Faithfully, the Scripture I am bringing into 2018 with me, and will be praying for others and myself is Galatians 6:9
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. 
YES, 2018 you are a due season year! I need you to be, and I am claiming it in boldness and faith!
*Developing roots here in Tallahassee, but also seeking growth in the arena of work.
*Allowing myself to do a little bit more dreaming, just because I want to:) 
* Relationship land, hahaha I need a map because it's that unclear;) 
* Turning 33 (to party or not to party, that is the question)
* My travel plans are still developing...who knows, and that is just fine. Though 2 weddings, a graduation, and an extra special housewarming look promising this year:) 

For 7 years I have closed the same way, and that is not going to change this year:) Love you all!
Now with all of that said I will say this.....2018 is a completely unknown entity. Sure, I know some things but they are so tiny compared to what I have no idea about. The key is to hold fast to God, have faith and grace, love my family and friends, and be the very best Sabrina Maude Stewart that I can be.....that should not be too hard ( I am kidding) it will probably take me 365 days to kind of get it right!

Sunday, August 27, 2017

In a Week

Last week was a doozy! Sad news, really hard news, then amazing news! All in one week! My little heart was all over the map last week. Whew, but I am so grateful to serve a living God. A God who is "the way, the truth and the life". I had to rely so much last week on prayer. Tears as prayer, groanings as prayer, and even questions and great praise as prayer.

I wanted to look back and just remember that God is faithful. That his ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts. I was reminded last week that we need to cling to the Lord. And also, I was reminded to slow my mind and life down. Take it one day at a time, which I almost never do. But it's a new top priority. And in general a less stress way to live. And I can use a few lessons in less stress.

Also, last week was a reminder to return to God and thank him for answered prayers. There is a Bible story about 10 lepers. And after being healed, only 1 returned and gave thanks. Just like human nature right? That story has always resonated with me, and so in the midst of it all last week, I returned and thanked God for a special answered prayer that has spanned over the last 2ish years.

A new week is here. But most importantly, today is here and I am thankful.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Claim It!

August has started off as the month of amazing foundations being built for the future. I have kept saying to myself over and over, "Claim it!". I know I will look back one day and see even more clearly, how this month swept in some great changes in the life of a Sabrina.

In finances, I have saved, and most importantly I have a plan. It might take 3-5 years to see the ultimate fruits of my labor, but I have such a great feeling about what is to come. This is the season of planting, and the harvest will in time be a home that I can purchase. Not yet but one day.

In work, I am starting year 4 at my school. And year 4 of being back in Tallahassee. And though my very nature and personality get kinda antsy, and future focused. The mantra is to stay, and relax, and be still. I am working diligently and I do think in the future, years from now, a new thing will show itself in the form of a job opportunity. Not yet but one day.

In faith, I am praying, believing, and growing. I am not a finished product, and I actively need and ask God to help me overcome me. To show me his will and purpose for my life. It's a season where some weeds would try and creep in, but the master gardener is using Scripture, prayer, and his people to garden my spirit. I'll never arrive per say, but journeying with the Lord is the goal.

In relationships, I have had to struggle with the balance beam of putting myself out there, and reality. The conclusion is loud and clear, right now is not the time for me to be dating anyone. Gotta get my mind clear, and heart and emotions in tune. Gotta get the dreams and reality in sync. And I would not want to drag someone else into that unresolved stuff. Now I would truly enjoy some mellow companionship...a football watching, home-cooked food tasting, park walking, Christian man in my life. But maybe it's something for later. I have to have much faith, because I just don't know, and can't force or plan or schedule it. Not yet but one day.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Mothers Are...Part 2

In tribute to Mother's Day 2017

I wrote Part 1 last year, it is here if you want to take a peek. It is one of my favorites! 

Mothers are insightful. How did she get the "hidden" meaning in my tone? There is something about a mom that always gets to the heart of the matter. We might say the same story to three different people, but it is only mama who follows through with those leading, probing questions that get to the crux of the issue. Of course they can get a little too close for comfort, but you know, I think that's their right, considering that they birthed/raised us and all;)

Mothers are strong. Have you noticed how fearless she is? Mothers are courageous, risk-takers. They are always prepared and capable of saving the day. It's uncanny how they can be in pain or trouble, but rest assured, t
hey are not going to go down without a fight. Mom's are loyal and protective and their drive and strength are the foundations on which most of us still rely upon (in some way). Even to this day.

Mothers are deep! Hold on, can you say that one more time? Mothers can assess a situation and give you an interpretation that will stand the tests of time. Moms are character builders, not here to entertain the foolishness of the present time, but to impart wisdom to last us through the years. Mamas can still make us remember the very best of ourselves, and try and present that self to the world. Your fanciest degrees or travel experiences will not beat the depth of a talk with mom, at the kitchen table. And that is priceless. 

Mothers are surprising. What in the world is she doing over there? Just when you think you have her figured out, wham! Nope, go back to square one and try again. Moms can change and adapt as needed. They can move and fluctuate to adjust to temperamental teens, angsty young adults, clinging infants, and stubborn "grown-up" children. It is a true spectacle to behold, how a mother is both steady yet unpredictable. It can boggle the mind, which again is more than ok since they birthed and raised us! 

So, to all of the mothers out there. The new ones with "arm babies", the mature ones whose babies have their own babies now. To the mothers who can still run around the yard and those who are pushed in a wheelchair from place to place. To mothers who have lost and those who have gained. And especially to one special groups, so near to my heart. To the women who want to be mothers. To the silent struggle, to the desire that is unanswered yet. Have faith my warriors, know you are loved and I am praying for you! Happy Mother's Day to you all!