2018 a review and 2019 a preview

Welcome 2019 (soon)!

Looking back at 2018, a smile lights my face as I think back on the year. Why smile? Oh, there are so many reasons, but here are two that have impacted my life greatly. I smile because God has matured and helped develop my habits. I was able to read/listen to the entire Bible in chronological order! I did not lose focus or give up, or get too busy. I actually did it! And I gained knowledge, awe, reverence, and reminders that I am walking a different path, with a different aim, and far different destination than anything the world might have to offer me.

I also smile, and release a large sigh of contentment because I started a new job in 2018! And it is such a great match for me! I enjoyed the twists and turns of the public school system and I know the help, teaching and counsel I was able to provide for 9 years, was of a benefit to some. But to branch out, and discover a new realm in higher ed, has truly been one of the absolute best parts of 2018!

And so, looking back with gratitude, I stand here at the brand-new, fresh start of a new year! Excited, thankful, and ready..I think, for what a sparkling new year will hold. I'm growing up, so I already know there will be sweet and sour, but I'm realizing it really is your mindset in how you handle the "flavors" of life that makes all the difference. Now, as always, I will preview some parts of a fresh new year. 2019 here we come, be kind please.

2019:

* Financially, I am approaching the finish line of a major financial milestone for me, and while I am giddy and grateful. I am also getting the new goals ready, so that I don't lose focus and drift along. This is the year for determination, and drive!

* People that I know and love will pass away or suffer through illness. Aging is real. Eternity is real. Don't get caught up on what you can see, and forget the Lord who created us all and gives us everlasting purpose. 

* SHIPT- I started this side hustle in October (thanks to Melanie's wisdom), and as I enter a new year, it will be my additional funds for travel and home buying. Yayyyyy! 

* Faithfully, the thought of shining for Christ has come to my spirit a lot lately. I still am praying and seeking to find out how I I can shine and be a bright, positive light to attract others to Christ. 

* Cookies! Branching out and selling cookies to friends and family. And the baker in me is just thrilled about this one right here....maybe this will just be the start of the Brina Bakes empire (kidding, kidding). But seriously, if you are in Tallahassee, look for me to be offering up pretty, and delicious cookies just in time for Valentine's Day!

* Relationship land, I had to kind of regroup in 2018. I will not lie, it is difficult in the dating game, when you know what real love is, and you just can't settle for an imitation. So, sigh, relationship land is something I do desire, but only if it is true and good for me. I am hard-wired for loyalty, and caring but those two traits are not exactly appreciated in the dating world today, so it's kind of "interesting". However, I am going to try and not give up, but embrace courage and hope. If you would like to pray about this one, I would appreciate it:) 

* Turning 34 and continuing to celebrate the gift of this precious life 

* Travel plans for this year....you know I WANT to be traveling a lot....but in the season of preparing for a home purchase, I must do what I NEED to do, not want. So, a Key West trip with the girls, and then cooling my jets. Though I would adore to get to go to DC and see the cherry blossoms in full bloom!! And I would love, love to finally make it Texas and see some dear friends! 

For 8 years I have closed the same way, so here we go:) Love you all!

Now with all of that said I will say this.....2019 is a completely unknown entity. Sure, I know some things but they are so tiny compared to what I have no idea about. The key is to hold fast to God, have faith and grace, love my family and friends, and be the very best Sabrina Maude Stewart that I can be.....that should not be too hard ( I am kidding) it will probably take me 365 days to kind of get it right!

Care

* I started this post in July, and finally finished it today. Interesting how not much has changed in the news cycles.*

Recent political events have been on my heart lately. You see, I say, on my heart, not on my mind. Because in this oppressive, greedy, "me-first" America that we live in, too many people are thinking but not enough are...caring.

You know, during the election I often wondered, do people realize just how dangerous the "us vs them" rhetoric can be? I pondered, do people not think that history can repeat itself? I stewed over, how can people interact with you on a daily basis, but in their hearts and homes support a new American dream of divisiveness and harm. And I didn't come up with any answers, but that did not stop me from...caring.

So then the election came and it went. And I personally stopped tuning in to politics. I felt like I was both getting dumbed down and horrified. And I just turned my attention to more local matters, and using my small influence for good. And so it's been for about 2 years. And all the while bullying speech has been lauded from the highest office in the land. Untruths have been hurled like grenades, leaving nothing but ruin and confusion in their wake. And those on both sides have jumped into the festering cesspool  of ignorance and anger that some call "politics" but in reality is some of the worst "civilized" and "accepted" and "expected" behavior that I have heard of in a long time. The taunts, the jokes, the ridicule, and truly soul clenching hate that has been very thinly disguised and even cheered. It is disgusting, and the opposite of...caring.

And now enter in the border and the continued games of using people as pawns in what for us is just "news" but for them is their very life and death. And so my heart has been beating lately for those fleeing persecution. And I don't mean the "Americanized", they won't bake me a cake stuff. I mean, they burned my fields and crops, and threatened to come back next for my teenage daughter, if I don't sell them what is left of my familial property. Real life, gasping, bleeding, real life. And it gets chopped down to fit a news segment, and it gets looped with lightning speed but also in the rush, comes mistakes in reporting. And because everyone is so suspicious,  it feels like we have stopped...caring.        

Caring is defined as feeling or showing concern for or kindness to others. Well, if it is true, that our actions are a reflection of our heart (and that is true), then right now I live in a county of such promise but such abyssal showing of caring. And in times such as these, I have to remember to kind of shake it off, the bruising blows of pop culture, the selfish, unkind threats of politics; and pick back up my light and shine it with...caring. I have to listen to people, and carefully watch my words, that they would be genuine and...caring. I have to look ahead to a New Year, and remember that if a bunch of "I's" get together and don't give up, our...caring, just might change the world.    

32 was...

Can you believe that yours truly will be 33 in a few days?? My birthday is fast approaching and I have a weekend filled with fun planned (of course), but I do think I have not talked about it and dropped hints as much as in previous years (I think....). So as one birthday gets ready to arrive in a flood of goodness. Let's look back at the year that has gone by.

32 was searching....
It was a year of searching and also admitting that I don't hold all the answers. I am searching in the area of work and this year I allowed myself to be brave. I mean, why not Stewart! There I was, always encouraging others, and there I was, not taking my own advice. So I really sat and prayed and looked at my skills and gifts. And I tell you the search has been fruitful. And I think the main thing is that this is the season for change, for a Sabrina. The search is not done, but I know, I just know the answer is going to be awesome!

32 was back to basics....
In my spiritual life, I know that this year was about strength in the spiritual disciplines. Particularly, prayer and Bible reading. It was the year that I finished the book Fervent by Priscilla Shirer. And as I read, I crafted some strong prayers. And I went back to getting on my knees, beside my bed, and praying before I headed off to work. And some prayers were words, and some were sighs, and some were tears, and some were just me, hands open, asking God to help me put aside my will, and embrace his will. Also, during my 32nd year, I got back into Bible reading. The Scriptures are key to Christian living, and over the years, I was good at reading bits and pieces and devotionals, but I had slacked on more purposed reading of God's word. I am so happy to get back to basics in this area, and take prayer and Scripture reading with me into 33. They make my life better and provide me purpose.

32 was "figureitoutable"
I saw something on line, and it said, "Everything is figureitoutable." And you know, I just kinda love that. I love that silly, made-up conglomeration of words:) My mind was busy this year. I'm a counselor, and so both at work and play, I often am actively listening and responding. I sometimes hold the news before it hits the presses. I sometimes, hold the hurts, when people are really struggling. And so this year, I figured it out for others and also for myself. And I'm still figuring it out, if I am honest. But 32 did have this brain doing the work of seeing what thoughts, dreams, and ideas are worthwhile, which needed to be reshaped, and which are just not a good fit, in the life of a Sabrina. 

Happy almost birthday beautiful girl:)  Yeah, that's another thing from 32, easing up on myself, and correcting my self-talk, to be more positive and encouraging!

Spring!

Spring, Spring, Spring!

There is a special type of perfection in Spring. I think because my eyes can see it so clearly. The sky is such a vivid blue, after the gray of winter. The bushes of perfect, pink azaleas are so alive, after the brown limbs of winter. And you know, my ears can hear Spring. During my morning walks now, I can hear the incessant chirping of the birds, and they seem to be soaring just a little lighter on the Spring breezes, singing as they go. Of course I can feel it. From gusty, frigid winds to casual, tepid breezes. Spring feels good on my skin, and when I stop and let the sun shine down on me, and actually stop and feel it! Awwww, I tell you, that right there is some Springtime bliss.

So in honor of a beautiful season, here are some goals for the next few months.

- Get back out and get fit! No more excuses, Sabring girl, out you go, armed with allergy meds and water!

- Mother Nature is literally birthing her bounty in fruits and vegetables. Don't ignore that and get to cooking fresh seasonal foods.

- Clean it up. What? My thoughts, my place, my office, my life in general. Sweep out the dusty corners and embrace what is new. Bust out the supplies and forge ahead in creativity and freshness. Actually put your mind to old tasks, but in new ways. Stretch yourself and be a little more courageous, Ms. Stewart.

Happy Spring to my family and friends both near and far. May you be refreshed in good works and sun-shiney, positive vibes!

Love Shine

Happy Valentine's day to my family and friends!

I'm grateful for this "love day" and the light it shines along the path. Our daily living is like unto a journey. And we are trying our best to go along, creating memories, working, worshiping, being responsible adults etc. And along the way, as we go day by day, our view and vision can get a little dim. Same routines, same folks, same rhythms of life.

But there is this "love shine" I call it. And it is so pretty! It's soft and gentle, and amazing and unique. And it's the moments, and people, and times when acts of love, shine bright along the journey.

Today is full of them, and I am happy to see them, people showing and sharing love and appreciation. In my book it will never be a bad thing, to let those you love, know that you love them.

And the rest of the year will be full of love shine moments too, if we can remember to be present. To actually engage with people, and be open to sharing life and love.

Love shines bright today, and I wanted to say I LOVE YOU dearly to the family and friends who are like sparkling stars in my life.

Thank you all for your love for me, and the caring thoughtfulness of my amazing people, who love me in amazing yet simple ways. Happy, happy Valentine's day to you:)

2017 a review and 2018 a preview

Happy 2018! Greetings from a very quiet and chill start to the new year. Here we are again, standing at the hopeful and glittering start of a new year, and I am so happy! I am really looking forward to these next 365 days and what they could bring.

Looking back at 2017, goodness, hmmmmm, it was quite a year! Lessons in loss and how to love and support those who grieve. I put on my counselor hat and encourager hat A LOT this year. I used my hands and continued to find the absolute joy of making and creating!! Politics and world events definitely left me feeling like we must be in the end times. I enjoyed many trips home and time with my precious family. 2017 saw me reach fitness and health goals. 2017 saw some personal hurts that forced me to turn the page and choose growth and healing (thank God above for his healing, especially of my fragile heart and feelings/emotions). I am thankful for 2017, but I do gratefully look ahead to unwrapping 2018! I am hoping it is more like a gift, beautiful and surprising.

As always, I will preview some parts of a fresh new year. 2018 here we come!

2018:

* Friends and family I know will have babies and grow their families through adoption, and begin new relationships, and get engaged, and get married ( Marriage is a good thing, a very good thing and I love to see my loved ones find their person and commit to married life.). And I will continue to pray hard for some extra special single friends, that their time for love would dawn very soon:) 
* People that I know and love will pass away or suffer through illness. I will continue to pray and ask comfort for those who lost loved ones in 2017.

* Financially, I am redoing the budget, and dedicating myself to a fantastic 2018 of paying down what I owe and saving for my dreams. These times WILL bring forth a bountiful harvest.

* Faithfully, the Scripture I am bringing into 2018 with me, and will be praying for others and myself is Galatians 6:9

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. 

YES, 2018 you are a due season year! I need you to be, and I am claiming it in boldness and faith!

*Developing roots here in Tallahassee, but also seeking growth in the arena of work.
*Allowing myself to do a little bit more dreaming, just because I want to:) 
* Relationship land, hahaha I need a map because it's that unclear;) 
* Turning 33 (to party or not to party, that is the question)
* My travel plans are still developing...who knows, and that is just fine. Though 2 weddings, a graduation, and an extra special housewarming look promising this year:) 

For 7 years I have closed the same way, and that is not going to change this year:) Love you all!

Now with all of that said I will say this.....2018 is a completely unknown entity. Sure, I know some things but they are so tiny compared to what I have no idea about. The key is to hold fast to God, have faith and grace, love my family and friends, and be the very best Sabrina Maude Stewart that I can be.....that should not be too hard ( I am kidding) it will probably take me 365 days to kind of get it right!