Thursday, March 28, 2013

Friday Tunes- Pink (again)

PINK! I really connect with many of Pink's lyrics. A LOT. Since the start of 2013 this is her second song that I have featured on Friday Tunes. I think it's because she is herself through and through. She has never apologized for being a unique combo of girly-rocker. And even in her personal life she has stumbled and then recovered. Left her husband, then had the courage to work on their relationship and get back together. Now she is a wife and mother. I'm a fan for sure! 

Trash to Treasure

What a week it has been! I won't even go into the dramatic details here.

But things are smoother now and I am content.

As I was on the way, zooming out the door. I was about to grab the flowers (above) I had purchased last week and throw them in the trash. A few had started to wilt, and I was looking to fill up a trash bag.

As I reached for them, I had another of those moments where it felt like God stopped me. Or maybe better than that, he directed my vision.

There on the tip of the stamen (I think) of one perfect flower was a tiny droplet of water. It was so pretty. Then, I looked closer and I saw about 6 other blooms, with tiny droplets just clinging on. WOW! Nature has constantly reminded me of God in the last few years. And today it was just amazing. These flowers are still living. Still functioning as a flower should. And look at me, trying to throw them out! Ain't that just a life lesson right there:)

It brought to mind the latter part of Matthew chapter 6.

28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

YEP God. I hear you. Here I was, getting emotional and full of worry. AGAIN! And there you go, giving me an example of your creation and care in nature. Reminding me yet again, and in a way full of beauty and gentleness, that I need to take a deep breathe and trust in you. These trash to treasure times revive me. There is a better life waiting on me. But it won't be forced, and it is not loud and bold. But it is faithful, and honest, and true. As it says in Deuteronomy...."choose life".

 I feel back on track! And ready to count down to a big birthday:) As always, Thank You for coming over and reading my thoughts. I don't ever get a ton of comments, but I write what encourages me, so maybe it might be an encouragement to you:) You just never know.

PS- Here is the whole passage from Deuteronomy chapter simply inspiring.

18 I announce to you today that you shall surely perish; you shall not prolong your days in the land which you cross over the Jordan to go in and possess. 19 I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; 20 that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them.”

Sunday, March 24, 2013


I am standing on a road looking at where the road splits.
Teaching or Counseling?
Stay or Go?

And like that precious Kid President said. "Two roads diverged in the woods....and I took the one less traveled...and it HURT man!"

It does hurt and it is confusing to have these questions about my purpose in life. To wonder do I make the decision that is obviously best for me, or the harder choice that is better for others, but could end up being better for my spirit?

You all know that I have no idea right? Ok, just checking. I get reminders. Bible verses like the one below tug hard on my heart and mind. And maybe that itself is a sign.
Philippians 2:3-4 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

Sigh, I really have no clue. But I'm not letting it ruin me. I'm living daily and waiting with hope.

We are already in the 3rd month of 2013, and literally each day I have a new feeling about this lingering life question. I am torn for sure. The only solution I have so far is to wait. I have a few things on the horizon, and I am waiting to see what happens.

But, I realize that I am an integral part of my school. There are certain things about me that are necessary where I work, though I completely understand that I can be replaced, just like all people can. I guess, part of it boils down to the fact that I feel so guilty about wanting to leave. I don't want to disappoint the people and kids that I have grown to care about. We are sometimes a disjointed, crazy family, but we are family none the less.

At the same time I have a yearning for more. And I do pray whether now or later, I am able to enjoy some of the "more" that I crave. I don't want to get my priorities messed up again though, because that was pretty awful. Anyway, a decision must be made. I'll fill you in once something happens.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

March- Work Friends

In the back of my mind I had this idea to combine my love of cooking with my love of friends.
So, this year I want to diligently try and host one friend (or more) each month. I want to cook for them and eat with them because these things mean so much to me. And they deepen friendships. I just want to have fun and food with my fabulous friends:)

In March I hosted a birthday party for friends from work. We had a blast and laughed until I got a headache.  It was pot-luck style and so filling and tasty. I didn't cook anything really, but I did provide some of the food. This new flexibility is part of the new motto of Sabrina. Be less rigid girl, make your plans and goals (like cooking for friends each month).....but chill out just a little (Publix wings and cupcakes can count). That way instead of a life of check-boxes, you can have an authentic life filled with relationships and purpose.

chicken wings
deviled eggs
chips and "hot dip" 

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Friday Tunes- Deborah Cox

I'm in a blast from the past mood! Here's a song that teenage Sabrina had memorized, even though she had zero understanding of the lyrics;)

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Change the World- At Work

Talking with my sister the other day, she posed an interesting question about the world of work.
"Sabrina, do you ever think that with just one more degree, or an amazing mentor, that you could just change the world?" I love this thought and the passionate, ambitious heart it comes from.

My answer to her would be the same I would give to most people. I told my sister, that to me she is already changing the world. To her patients, she is a world changer, because she helps them find resources to continue the battle against organ failure.

Life, and the mundane everyday tedious tasks, would have us forget. It wants us so focused on the next step that we never look up and appreciate the path. And we almost never see how far we have come, and the amazing quality of our work. And, I know that everyone does not want to change the world. I understand that, but all of us with human services jobs.....we have to realize that like it or not we are in the business of doing small world changing things daily.

I run a small group for 4th grade girls who are struggling with self-esteem issues. My group encompasses a range of intellectual and social dynamics. But, here is what my girls have in common. These are quiet girls, but under that they are bright and hilarious. But, teachers and other school staff let me know of the need for a group especially for these girls, because they tend to be overlooked. And already at age 10, they could put themselves down quicker than they could think of ways to praise themselves. So, we meet together and work on positive self-talk. It is good, these times with my group. And grown-up Sabrina can often use the reminders, just as much as the girls. And, I do believe with all of my heart that this group is changing the girls. Right now, their character is being molded, and I am so blessed and privileged to get to be a part in the process.

But, of course there are SO many other things. So many people that I know do the hard work. They supply for the immediate and necessary needs of those who society does not want to hear. The world has already been changed, and so often we forget. We forget that the paths we walk were not always there. The ways we think were silenced and shunned. We forget that the people we work with have often been oppressed, judged, and neglected. But, by some wonderful providence, some of us are helping bring renewal, second chances, and hope. Never discount that fact. Never let anyone tell you that your value is in your pay or, my social-working sister. You are already changing the world just as you are. Many of us are and it's amazingly beautiful. Gloriously wonderful. Fantastically challenging!

Friday, March 15, 2013

February- LIFE Group

In the back of my mind I had this idea to combine my love of cooking with my love of friends.
So, this year I want to diligently try and host one friend (or more) each month. I want to cook for them and eat with them because these things mean so much to me. And they deepen friendships. I just want to have fun and food with my fabulous friends:)

In February I hosted my church LIFE Group. It's always a blessing to have these friends in my home. And I am thankful to have a home to host them in. It was pot-luck style and delicious. A different format than last month, but it included eating and I am counting it towards my goal:) 

fried chicken
mashed potatoes
green beans and almonds
mac and cheese

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Friday Tunes- Elton John

I was watching an oldie but goodie episode of The Nanny and Elton John was a guest star. Boy, that was a 90's blast from the past. Anyway, then I got all into an Elton mood. And I stumbled across this video in the You Tube vault.

Monday, March 11, 2013

A changing life

"Sabrina has changed. This school can do that to do. At ???? she was all rainbows and unicorns!"
This is part of the conversation we were having at work the other day. My AP knows me from my Internship last year, before we all moved over to a new school. And I had just finished joking with him, when he said the above.

The old me, would have jumped all over that statement. What did he mean? Should I be concerned?
But, I just took it for what it was. No biggie! Because I know for a fact now that this life is in constant flux. So, you really better not hold onto anything of this world too tightly, unless you don't mind the disappointment. And that even includes personality traits.

I did ask him later, what he would describe me as now. But, he couldn't explain it. I understand, because I can't really explain it myself. In about 2 months, a 28 year old Sabrina will arrive on the scene, and she has become more "jazzy" and "edgy" than her predecessors. And I like her, she feels more comfortable in her own skin. She tries to speak with wisdom, and spread joy, but she also can lay out the sarcasm as needed;) She is waking up more and more to the "fullness" of life outside of her upbringing and past experiences. She also is noticing her lovely smile, peek-a-boo dimples, and intelligence; appreciating the complex interplay of each and every one of these things that make her unique and lovable.

Change is really not so bad. And that is a total shift from the girl who clung tightly to the ways things were, and had built her foundation on stability. Now the woman, who is daily replacing the girl, is more realistic. She is more aware that this life is precious and amazing and full of choices. She knows that change is coming, no matter how hard we fight against it, and that the only way out is through. She has gained compassion by realizing that "the least of these" are all around us and their struggles are really the struggles of our entire society. She is stronger and more dedicated to justice and more willing to just be with people without needing to solve things for them. Maybe, that is the biggest change. I have realized that I can't live others lives for them, I can't make them make the choices that have worked for me. You have got to let people be people, and then support them all along the journey. Of course this way can open you up for hurt and confusion, but it is real......and currently that means a lot to me. More than it ever did before.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Friday Tunes- Matt Redman

Blessed be this Friday! May we all live today full of God's purpose for us, and care about the things he cares about.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

He answered: Friends at Work

Maybe you have gone through difficult times at some point in your life. If you are like me, a woman in her 20's then I am 100% sure that you have. These times look and feel different for all people, which is what makes this life feel so much like a journey and adventure.

When we are struggling, it can, if we are not mindful, taint much of our perspective. Work might be difficult, and at the same time I might start seeing greater frustrations with my finances, for example.
Or you might have been hurt by a friend, and then feel like your spouse has also been particularly unsupportive.

In my own personal trials a few months back, at the same time that I was exhausted from work, I looked around my city and became so sad about what I called "lack of friends at work". I was internally complaining, that as a newbie at my school, I just didn't have anyone who knew me or really cared about the Sabrina who existed outside of work. Looking back, oh how ridiculous that was! But, it's honestly how I felt. And I talked to God about it. I didn't shield my hurts from him.
And a few months later, I can boldly say that he answered.

He has provided for me in marvelous ways. And this is me saying that I am so very grateful! I went to God with my need, and even though some of it was based in pure selfishness, he still cared and provided. I know because in the last few weeks, I have been made aware again and again of the good people who I work with. They are blessing to me daily. I have laughed with my work buddies. I have been shown love by my colleagues. I have opened my life to others and let them share their lives with me (including the tough stuff that really defines a true friendship).

The following Bible verses from my morning devotional have been particularly inspiring this week. I wanted to share them with you, because to me they are like hidden gems, and those are always worth sharing! 

Habakkuk 3: 17-19
17 Though the fig tree does not bud
    and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
    and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
    and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
    I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
    he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
    he enables me to tread on the heights.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Friday Tunes- Pink

Some of my favorite song lyrics in quite a while. Pink knows what she is singing about for sure!