38 was

 Hi!

I am detouring from my usual birthday "year in review" to focus instead on one theme that has played an important though quiet role in my 38th year, and that is "mothering".

Mothering as defined by me, is all the things that encompass being a mother, yet can be used to describe a person who is not a mother but displays and lives the characteristics. Got it? It will make more sense as I write, I hope.

So when it comes to life I have a simple prayer ( I have prayed it off and on for many years now), that I would be able to be a Godly wife and mother. I have many other goals and wonderful things in my life, but the consistent one for many years now has been this. It's not fancy, and it leaves a lot of room for interpretation (aka God's will)

I both do and don't know why my biological clock was ticking hard this year. My loved ones do not pressure me about babies, and pregnancy etc. Because of my casual style many people think I am younger than I am, so it's not this verbalized pressure from anyone. And I really appreciate that.

So this past year I have been gaining a better understanding of mothering as relates to me. In this past year, I have not gotten to "mother" as in maternity photo shoots and baby naming, but something else beautiful has emerged.

First, we have our college "kids". In the Fall, 3 freshman FAMU students started attending our church, and one of them is a friend from home. Sundays and Wednesday became car rides of life talks, and Wal-Mart trips, and prayer requests and coming to care for each one of them in a special way. I skipped right over babies and into young adults lol. 

Then, at work again and again but especially lately I have had students with hard life situations and there goes the "mothering" again. In depth talks about majors, and life goals, and loss. Literally taking college tours with a student to help him achieve his dreams and aspirations. I have part-time staff who are in college, I boosted up one during an abusive relationship and was a steady presence as she returned back to school. I encouragred another to not let her "gap year" become more than 1 year, and she will happily be starting FSU this Fall:)

It's been this beautiful blend of having a loving heart, and a personality that "sees" people. Mothering landed in my lap in the year that I needed it most. 

Life and family planning continues, Stephen and I have options in this coming year and beyond, and we pray that we will be able to enjoy the next season of marriage as parents. There are still different possibilities but I will honestly say, off the bat that does not incude IVF. That is something we agreed upon even before we got married. There are MANY children here and now who need loving, stable homes. We have some ideas and look forward to seeing what is meant for our family in the future. At this moment we can honestly say we do not know.  Exciting times and times for prayer:)

38 was a good year. I am grateful for this "little life" and the love, all the love that I get to experience.

Happy 39th birthday to me!