Now and Later

Can I start this with a confession? I can...OK, thanks!

My natural, autopilot settings are set on future mode. I am hard wired, way down deep, to always be thinking about the future. Days from now, weeks ahead, months coming up, and even years. It is as natural to me as taking a breath. I am happy however, that at this stage in my life I can recognize it, and feel myself start to shift into "future mode".

Sometimes I go along with it, and sometimes I do get frustrated with myself. In all honesty, I don't want to always be looking ahead. Constantly thinking about more. Sometimes I tire myself out, with the constant swirling of my mind and thoughts. Sometimes it feels like I don't trust, but instead organize and pre-approve plans. Always waiting for everyone to catch up to my rapid fire ways.

Even though Fall is fast approaching, and New Years 2015 is a thing of the past, I do have some goals that I want to work on during this part of the year. Maybe it's the back to school vibe that has me thinking about some self-improvements. And self-improvements are not a bad thing, in fact I find them refreshing in a way.

Of course there are goals; one spiritual, one physical, and one financial. All three are deeply important to me. All three are linked to visions I have of my future and what life could have in store for me next.

In order to reach these goals however, I already know one of the keys. And it's opposite of my natural settings. One key is for me to live day by day and appreciate the present. Great, just great! So my struggle is also connected to my growth and goals....oh life!

But really, I do kind of.. sort of ..maybe.. get it. Life is telling me that in order to grow in some areas, I am going to have to reach and stretch. If I stay doing what I always do, I will get what I have always gotten.

So this is me, trusting the process. This is me, admitting that there will be struggles, but I believe they will be minuscule compared to the victories. This is me saying that I don't have it all figured out, but also that I refuse to give up, when such wonderful things lie ahead. This is me, agreeing that I thought I would have it "together" by now, but maybe just maybe understanding that I am where I need to be now, yet there is still room to grow.