Waves of Life-A Sailing Story

The Florida girl in me resonates with the imagery of the ocean waves crashing against the shore.
Of billowing, white clouds tinged with the God created colors of a sunset.
The contented and blissful sighs of a soul at absolute peace.
A vision of that line where, in the way far distance, earth meets sky.

The ocean is gorgeous and it is treacherous. It is calm and it is wild.
And life can be like an ocean sometimes.
Waves, big and strong, crashing down on my little boat and soaking me in worries, doubts, and concerns. Leaving me feeling like a helpless captive in a storm that churns all around.

Then there are times that life is calm and so gentle that it rocks my little boat so calmly that I rest easy.
I take time and dip my toes in the water. I look up at the sky and actually enjoy the sensation of floating along, and trusting a power much greater than myself.

The 2nd full week of school is complete. It is hard to describe my work here. I was not figuring on that happening. I guess it can be summed up in this way. The challenges are real and deep and hard. I feel needed and yet I feel helpless at times. Sometimes I catch myself in my weakness, wishing for an escape. A bit of peace or usually an easy way out. Sometimes my inner emotions and thoughts are a complete wreck.

I don't know where that Sabrina has been lurking. But she is not who I will become. Maybe I can be taught to have patience with myself. Maybe I can learn to focus on the reliable people and not those who would hurt my frail feelings. I can be in control of my thoughts, which become my words and actions.

I am sailing daily. I am learning that there are a lot of lessons that I had not learned. I see that the classroom is vastly different than the deck of the ship. And that, even though it is a good thing, this blessed life of mine. It has lonely moments, frustrations with my lack of courage, and worries that my future is not going to shape up how I wanted it.

I am sailing daily. It is uncomfortable on my ship at times. And that stresses me out. I am so anxious that I jump ahead of myself. Instead of seeing the natural rhythms of the sea, I unfold MY map and tell my boat what is going to happen. This is no way to sail. That is what gives me that sinking feeling.

I am sailing daily. A new week begins tomorrow. I have to accept what is in my path, because it is there for a reason. I am already a more faithful Sabrina than a month ago. I have learned deep compassion on my short voyage. I have seen that it takes selflessness to love those who have been beaten down by life. They lash back, they don't respond. Yet, that is all a part of the trip. And I am giving myself some time. In December I want to do a check-in and see what God has done in my life. I want to see how months of sailing has changed me in positive ways.

Friday Tunes: Cherika

Cherika is one of my best friends:) I love that girl and all of the ways she makes me laugh and think.

A while ago she found a song that reminded her of me, so I thought I would share it here. Have a great Friday and fun weekend!

Color Quiz-Blue

HGTV was my relaxation tool during my last year of school. I think I have picked up more design tips than I realized. I often look at homes now and think about maximizing space, and pops of color!

Over on the Real Simple website (by the way, such a fabulous magazine) they had a fun color quiz that tells you about your design and color personality. Got a few moments? Head on over and see what your results are. I was a blue, water personality. The quiz called me "steadfast, tender, and sympathetic", which is pretty spot on.

Week 1- A Reflection

The first full week of my new job is complete. Even if I wanted to, I could not capture the whole picture of the work that I do, and the kids that I serve.

It's interesting being the same Sabrina in many ways, in a vastly different school setting. Thankfully, some things will always stay the same. The kiddies are adorable, friendly, welcoming, and excitable. Again, I get to work with an admin team that is approachable, and doing their absolute best to do what is best for the students. And as always I find my face lighting up with laughter and smiles throughout the day.

I'm growing up blog, that I can confess. The work has been hard at times and somewhat heartbreaking. There are a LOT of needs both emotional and physical that I come into contact with everyday. And I have been praying for God to help me and give me strength, because helping carry the load for others is tiring. It pretty much takes a nice quiet weekend to restore myself and get ready for another week. I feel like for years I was storing up strength, serenity, knowledge and power, and now I am pouring it out constantly. And sometimes I feel almost empty, but then other times I feel full and ready to give more and help more.

Yet, I know each day that I walk in that school that I am needed. All of the things that make up my personality are necessary for my job and help me with my work. In some ways I start out the mornings, way early by helping foster a positive school environment. Welcoming staff and families, checking in on and encouraging my teachers, etc. Each day the "schedule" is different but so far my afternoons are full of students struggling with making good choices. I work with them to help verbalize their feelings and calm down their bodies so that they can work to get the things that they want. A child with limited emotional vocabulary can get easily frustrated. And a counselor with a dawning recognition of the "different" parenting styles can feel overwhelmed. Some days I literally hurt for the pain that my babies have been dealt at such a young age.

But, here is the best part. Change is possible! I will not give up, because there is endless work to do. I will stay strong because maybe I can be a positive force in a child's life and open doors of hope for them. When I feel disappointed, when I just want to turn tail and run, when I think that it is too much and that I am in the wrong place, I will acknowledge those feelings and then stay the course  And I will rely heavily on my God, my family, and true friends to help encourage me and remind me that in the end everything will work out. I have to believe that everything will work out.

In the midst of this adjustment, that between me and you, is harder than I thought, but not impossible, I have something to ask you. Please pray for my school, the staff, families, and students. Please pray for them as often as you can. I just know that a great cloud of witnesses can help do marvelous things. Things beyond my sometimes limited imagination.

I keep on thinking that by December, we will be seeing the fruits of our labor. I have faith that the hard work now, will produce fruit later on in the school year. I can't wait to experience those moments!

Friday Tunes

High school/college Sabrina knew every word to this teenie booper song. For some reason it makes me think of driving along in my first car and dorm room antics. Have a great Friday!

Just a Thought

Let it be known that on this day, well it's early Sunday, so technically yesterday, a friend shared some good news.

I don't even know if anything will come of it. It might take 2 years or more for everything to fall into place.

But, there is a whisper in my very soul that says that I need to keep this feeling alive. That my yearning for more should not be ignored.

If the call comes, I will take it. But for now, now is the time for waiting, working and watching. Later, if it be the right thing for me, well later all will be revealed:)

But I will say that my passion for teaching and my passion for travel could combine to create something fantastic! It's just a thought.....and it has me amazed and wishing.

Friday Tunes

I think this is a perfect,carefree summer song! I was at a Music Therapy demonstration and they sang this song. You can kinda get carried away with the la, la, las which is fine with me;) Have a beautiful Friday night and weekend!

Back to Work

Tomorrow is my first day back at work. Yeah, it came around rather quickly, after what feels like months of waiting.

How is your favorite blogger feeling? Happy, tired, nervous, and ready.

The major goal is going to be not comparing my new school to my old one. I am not naive, they are about as different as A from Z. Yet, God has called me to work at both. And there are opportunities to help, probably even more now than in my last position. It is a little scary, but I would truly be wracked with nerves if I didn't have the Godly purpose and support of faithful people. I can do this!

I know, many faithful people will be lifting me up in prayer as my school year starts, and that blesses me. I am trying to get ready mentally and spiritually for this new school year. It will be tough (probably more than I can imagine) helping shoulder the burdens of the kids, staff and families at a school that has a lot of needs. Any accomplishments, any positive change, I know that will be God in me. And, I can rest in that thought.
Any difficulties, any trials and tribulations, I know that with God's help they can produce growth in me.

I really hope, with blind enthusiasm really, for a fantastic school year!

Micah 6:8
"He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?"