Saturday, September 29, 2012

Wise Words- A 2 month reflection

I have been so blessed to have some wise words shared with me during these last two months of adjusting to my new job.
My family and friends have shared stories of some of their personal struggles in the world of work.
These are like gems to me, because they are the stories that get hidden away. They often don't get shared because they are not pretty and neat, but instead filled with the overwhelming reality that life is good, but it can be so very hard. Lawyers get thrown into the courtroom and actually get sick with fear/worry. Social workers have to become their own boss and work with clients that steal and rant. Teachers are left alone with no administrative support. Nurses learn to comfort those literally moments from death.

I am not alone. My experiences are mine but they are not unique. Struggles come to all people. And all people have struggled with something. I needed to remember that. Because feeling alone and incompetent can lead to some bad decisions. Things are looking brighter in some ways and I am so thankful! And thankfully at the most difficult, soul numbing times I tried my hardest to turn to God, prayer, silence, some tears, and talking to my faithful support team; than denial, drinking, and unhealthy relationships.
SN: I can smile about it now, but that first month I so wanted to find someone (a complete stranger) to take me on a date so that I could just dump all my work woes on them. I know, I know, that is ridiculous;) But desperate times call for desperate measures.

Yesterday a co-worker reminded me that I am not the exact copy of my fellow counselor. I don't have to measure myself against him and the hours he keeps, to, in some way prove my worth. Amen for that reminder. It just happened out of the blue, but you know what? I was listening, and I do need to remember that I am new. And that some of the burned out feeling I was getting was my own fault for hitting the ground running full tilt.

I've been increasing my Bible reading and like a parched person to fresh water I have soaked in the many verses that remind me that God is abundantly faithful. Just a few examples...
Psalm 40:1-2 I waited patiently for the Lord; And he inclined to me, And he heard my cry. He also brought me out of a horrible pit, Out of miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

All of these things combined have resulted in a changing Sabrina. I can't really describe it, but I guess you would call it growing up. Time and change come to all people, and this has been quite a time of change in my life. 2 months of school counseling complete. I guess I can sum it up this way, my hidden weaknesses have been exposed, but the process of becoming a better person (my character) is worth the victories and set-backs.

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