Torn

I am standing on a road looking at where the road splits.
Teaching or Counseling?
Stay or Go?

And like that precious Kid President said. "Two roads diverged in the woods....and I took the one less traveled...and it HURT man!"

It does hurt and it is confusing to have these questions about my purpose in life. To wonder do I make the decision that is obviously best for me, or the harder choice that is better for others, but could end up being better for my spirit?

You all know that I have no idea right? Ok, just checking. I get reminders. Bible verses like the one below tug hard on my heart and mind. And maybe that itself is a sign.
Philippians 2:3-4 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

Sigh, I really have no clue. But I'm not letting it ruin me. I'm living daily and waiting with hope.

We are already in the 3rd month of 2013, and literally each day I have a new feeling about this lingering life question. I am torn for sure. The only solution I have so far is to wait. I have a few things on the horizon, and I am waiting to see what happens.

But, I realize that I am an integral part of my school. There are certain things about me that are necessary where I work, though I completely understand that I can be replaced, just like all people can. I guess, part of it boils down to the fact that I feel so guilty about wanting to leave. I don't want to disappoint the people and kids that I have grown to care about. We are sometimes a disjointed, crazy family, but we are family none the less.

At the same time I have a yearning for more. And I do pray whether now or later, I am able to enjoy some of the "more" that I crave. I don't want to get my priorities messed up again though, because that was pretty awful. Anyway, a decision must be made. I'll fill you in once something happens.