I'll be 28 on the 28th, very very soon! Just like every other year I am excited to see another birthday. I am thankful that I have the type of perspective that appreciates the wonder of growing older and celebrations!
If you are interested, I wrote about 25 here and 26 here.
OK! On, to my ponderings on 27.
27 was....
stressful. I have to start here because this was really kind of the theme of my 27th year. There have been worse times, but this year was difficult, trying, and filled to the brim with stress. Waiting for a job, then adjusting to a job, then getting beat down by a job, then looking for a new job. Yeah, the stress levels had risen mighty high during this year. And that is why I made my New Years Resolution to be a more peaceful Sabrina, because another year like this one, well I just hope that is not in the plans.
27 was ....
eye-opening. I have been shocked and surprised many times this year. Both extremely positive and extremely negative things have grabbed my attention. Positive: Children are resilient, and have this amazing and forgiving love to share. The kiddies have made the 27th year worth it all. And no matter what, it is for the children that I care the most. Negative: True poverty is another world. And I will never look out at this world of have and have-nots the same way, ever again. There are so many dangerous, scary and unfair situations right here in this great and blessed nation of America (nationally, by state, and by city).
27 was ....
a lesson in humility. Was I proud before this year? Yeah, I was. The good things and my God given talents had padded the way for me, and I had begun to find a lot of pride in the way of "Sabrina". It was not out of control, but it could have gotten there. I did not take enough time to look out beyond the scope of my life. I did not have much true understanding or compassion for those who were totally different than me. I think I was more pitying than compassionate. Interested but not compassionate. Grace and mercy were not daily parts of my life. But, as some of you know, I have changed this year. I had to change. And a more careful lady has emerged. I am cautious of broad, sweeping judgements, because I don't know it all. And even if I did, I still would not judge it right. The 27th year has been shared with my family and intimate friends. And I can write and share this now, because all I am doing is admitting something that we all can relate to. I am growing up and I am sometimes a mess;) But, I refuse to give up on the process. And I refuse to walk around blindly acting like I have it all together while it literally is crumbling away on some days and at some moments.
27 was....
unique. There has never been such a year in my life! Travels and friendships, teaching and being taught, counseling and being counseled. I've seen the waves of life rushing and receding all around me. I began to live in the moment and take it day by day. I let myself be surprised again. I choose Joy and with God's help, stared down Fear. I survived. I mean it....because at the very lowest point, when I had a bruise on my arm from being bitten by a child, and a bruise on my heart from that same child calling me a slut...to the positive changes of now.....whew! For a while I honestly feared I was not going to make it. And yet I did! That life experience, and many others that I won't share, all culminated in survival. So yeah, now that I've got your imagination working, I'll say it again. This year has been unique.
I needed this 27th year. But, I gladly look forward to what is ahead. Thanks to everyone who took a little time to read this "year in review". Oh, and Happy early Birthday to me:)
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