Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Farther Along

"Farther along we’ll know more about it,
Farther along we’ll understand why;
Cheer up, my brother, live in the sunshine,
We’ll understand it all by and by."

One of my favorite spiritual songs is Farther Along. But I must admit I love so many songs because I resonate with them at certain times in my life. And praising God in song, for me brings a lot of joy! However, Farther Along has stood the test of time and it's just a good and beautiful song.

I had some difficult news to process last week. And, in my sadness I almost jumped on here and wrote of my mighty and overwhelming feelings. But, thankfully wisdom and some advice I have given others, slowed my steps. I have always cautioned others to be extra careful when posting or writing or saying anything when you are at an extreme emotional high or low. So, I listened to myself and wrote some thoughts in my regular journal.

But, it has been a few cleansing days since the sad news, and I'm in a better state of mind. Honestly, God helped me get in a better state the very next morning. And I am thankful.I could not have done it alone. And he sent wisdom and loving words and reminders through his people. Praise him! He also sent me some work to do. So I really had to tell myself to "suck it up girlie!".

Every single line of the chorus above, could describe this time in my life. Right now I am not sure why I have been called to stay. But, I am being obedient to a will much greater than my own. And it has not been easy. I am weak and selfish and flawed, yet trying.

My tears flowed freely for an evening. But the time of "cheering up" has come. I am SO blessed. With life and strength and family and love and talents. I gave myself an evening to mourn the passing of some dreams. And when the sun rose the next day, I tried to not look back. I pressed ahead, toward what has been given vs. what was not meant to be.

It's been a busy time of life!
Wedding planning and listening and advising. 
Getting ready for a 10 year high school reunion. 
Getting ready to make an, in town move. 

I truly believe that farther along, I will get some understanding about what is going on during this season of the life of Sabrina. Being confused and uncertain is not my favorite emotional state. Yet, if I read the Scriptures, that is just what so many have felt before. This rollercoaster of life is not new at all. It just feels that way, when you are a passenger. It feels higher, deeper, faster, crazier. But, the trick is that in fact, it is not at all. The past is truly right here with us in the present.

 I'm choosing to trust, choosing to "be here", choosing to love anyway, choosing to grow up, choosing to select among the actual options, choosing to smile, choosing to remember the saying "chin up beautiful", choosing to not be scared, and choosing a more faithful and obedient life in Christ.    

It definitely has its "emotionful" moments, but it is a life of purpose that reaches far beyond myself. And there is true joy in that:)

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