Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Matters of the Heart by a Levelheaded Realist

In this here life, I guess you never really know what might happen.
You never know how one phone call can change into a necessary part of your day.
You never know how days turn into months. And those days get filled with a positive pattern of care and growing friendship.

Sometimes you open your eyes and Good Grief! You are in something that makes you so very happy, but then sometimes so very confused.

And, this is how I would describe the matters of the heart, right now in the land of Sabrina.
My weakest area has been exposed lately. I have been brave, and kind, and strong, and wondering all mixed up together. You can probably take a guess about how yours truly is handling that mix of emotions. To be a levelheaded realist, I will just say, this is all new to me. And I am doing OK, some times handled much better than others.

There are literally a thousand details. But this is not the time and place for all of that. This is the time to just share that matters of the heart do not take long to change your perspective. This is me admitting that I might never "be ready", that I will probably continue to shortchange myself consistently in all things involving dating & relationships. But, this is also me saying that I am not going to give up, even though I see my flaws more often than what is in fact, going very well.

Matters of the heart can be tricky. You can feel sometimes like you are on a peacful ocean and then sometimes like you are swirling towards the Bermuda Triangle. All in one crazy day:) And yet, if it is for the right person, then man oh man. You take some time and then trust and get back in the boat with them, and try the whole ride again. Yeah, I know! What kind of levelheaded realist can even admit to such a thing? Me I guess:)

I'll end this with a wish. I wish I could see about 3 months from now! That would put me at the end of my birth-month and starting my 29th year. I wish I could see that Sabrina and what has gone on in her life. I know exactly, the one question I would ask her. It's not fancy at all. I would ask me, "Was it worth it?" That's all I want to really know. Is the risk that I am taking involving my heart, is it going to be worth it, down the road? In spite of circumstances beyond my control, right now the answer is Yes. And in 3 months I think it will still be a resounding Yes. We shall see. We shall see.

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