Mama Hen

Since I was young, people who have known me for a while have commented on my "mama hen" type ways. Now being a mama hen type could probably have a negative and positive connotation. But you know me, I choose the positive!

Caring and concern have always been my trademarks. It's the fundamental reason why counseling and I just click. I have been interested in hearing people and helping people for years. Now, I have more polished skills and a toolbox of interventions.

In a pleothra of situations my caring nature (aka being a mama hen) has helped me form authentic relationships. As much as I can, I try to get involved with life and not stand around on the outskirts. As someone described me and my work with our campus college ministry. I "jump in feet first". Later someone corrected that and said it's more like I "jump in head first":) I would amend that and say I "jump in heart first". Sappy sounding but true. You can tell I care about something when I'm all in. Giving as much of myself as I can and being present in the moments. I personally think it's a God refined talent.

My part-time job up here has been mentoring student-athletes. I have learned MANY things, and definitely gained a new perspective and appreciation for those talented students who find a balance between both roles. Throughout my two years I have worked with many students, and it has been highly rewarding. In a twist of fate (aka God's will) I ended my last semester with two girls who I had worked with since I first started at UGA. Julia and Sarah (changed their names) are two of the sweetest girls I know. Besides working with them, our friendship quickly grew into something real and tangible. We always focused on school, but life was not off limits. So as Sarah transitioned to Georgia from her home in the Mediterraeien, we bonded. Bus routes, taxes, medical issues, people issues, etc. Then you have Julia. She is a gentle giant who loves fun but also works hard. She has grown so much in all arenas. I am as proud as punch of both of them:)

So when I had to say good-bye to them Wednesday, it was difficult. Though I approached it with inner strength their genuine hugs and thanks crept right over my barriers and made me tearful. I will miss those girls so much! For a bit after the sessions I sat in my car thinking about just quitting the job search and staying on at UGA working with the student-athletes;) I realized how much you can come to care for people. Even when you don't purposefully set out to do it. The side effects of having a loving heart I guess:)
* I graduate on Friday! More posts on this special time are coming soon.*

Real Talk- Unemployed for Now

All of my posts are truthful. I have a lot going on in my little life and love to share it. But this one is going to be deep. It's not written as humorous or page turning entertainment. But as a way to share a thought process, and as my way to remind myself of something that is vastly important. 

Today I saw a super sweet email from my Internship supervisor announcing a reception in my honor because I finish up my time there on Friday. Time flown by, check! She is so very, VERY busy and I am beyond humbled that she would do this for me. However, about 2 minutes after reading the email I had this thought. And it's an ugly thought wrapped up in fear and personal pride. I began to think...."Oh a reception is wonderful, but I am going to be SO embarrassed to tell people that I don't have a job yet." Sigh, for all the ways that I have had to grow up recently around this topic of being unemployed, it still butts its ugly head into my mind.

For the first time in a long time I wanted to yell at myself. Sabrina, what is wrong with you! Those are the exact kind of self-destructive and prideful thoughts that are going to make this journey miserable! Get it together and just stop it already. Stop being so down and frightened! 

But yelling never added anything significant to an already bad moment. So I took another path. I did a replay. First, I quickly admonished myself , "Stop thinking that way Sabrina. You are far better than that." Then I took a deep breath and reread the email again slowly. Then I reminded myself of how thankful I am for my Internship experience! I thought for a few moments about how much I have learned and experienced in this whirlwind of an amazing year. I found solace in thinking of my faithful God. I wrote this blog post. Took another deep breath. And now I am going shopping for a graduation outfit:) I have this cool green skirt and it needs some shoes, a top, and accessories to make it fabulous! Crisis (meltdown) averted!

Friday Tunes

* For this month I will feature artists I would love to see live in concert. In honor of my birth month. A time when everything seems possible!*  Well it's the last Friday in my birth-month. It has been wonderful and blessed with lots of get togethers with friends and promises of soon to be family celebrations. To close out the month here is a clip from John Legend (I have actually seen him opening for Usher before he hit mega popularity). I also just saw him on campus last week:)

26 was....

My birthday is on Saturday and I will be 27! It's exciting:) I like thinking back over the year to what it was.

26 was...
busy. Between many commitments, work, etc. I stayed VERY busy and on the go during my 26th year. I look forward to recharging this summer because 26 has been days stacked upon days of things to do.

26 was...
challenging. On a personal level I have had to grow up more this year. Life gave me some situations and I could not just contentedly float along. I had to make decisions, and expand my strong opinions. In the end it was all for good. But I can't say that 26 was simple.

26 was...
up and down. There have been some moments where I have laughed until I cried. There have been still moments of pain as I shared burdens with people I love dearly. There have been some disappointments as I realized life can be lonely. Then there has been great joy in new-found groups and friends. So up and down and up and down the year has gone.

26 was...
wishful/hopeful. I let myself dream this year. And I wished and hoped and prayed for many things. I relaxed more in some ways and took time for bright dreams and wishes for some delightful things.

26 was
future focused. I have given a lot of thought to this season of life that begins on my graduation day. For a whole year it seems like I have thought about the future and what lies ahead. In the end I learned in order to truly live a faithful life you have to let go. Let go of places, people, and pre-conceived ideas in order to really get a look at your core. And then not be scared of what you find there, but instead embrace some things and wave some things good-bye.

If you were wondering. Here is what I wrote last year as I left 25 to head to 26.

Help More 2012: update

In December I wrote this post. In it I said that I wanted to help one charity a month, and also send at least one encouraging card each month. I wanted to help more, step outside of myself more.

 I have been able to get writing. And each month the one card has blossomed into more with the needs of my family and friends. Soon, I will get contributing again for the month of May. I think that is what the Bible means about ask and you shall receive. It is not talking about strictly material things. If you ask to help more, well God will show you the ways and provide the means to do just that.

I am actually really looking forward to the rest of this year and experiencing how vowing to Help More can really uplift your life. 4 months down and 8 more to go!

Each moment

*THANK YOU to everyone for all of the ways that you have encouraged and motivated me in the last few weeks and months. I love you all and appreciate you deeply!*

Each moment of this life is precious. Just ask anyone who has suffered through loss. Just ask those who grieve or live in a cloud of disappointment. Each moment matters. And along the journey the ups and downs count too. Both things stressful and amazing make up our life moments. But the wonderful thing is that life for me is more than just moments.

Because I am trying to live a life that is obedient to Jesus Christ, my moments are stitched together with a thread of hope. It's a strong thread and the only way it will snap is if I do the cutting. I am coming to realize again and again that there is a higher and better purpose to life. The world is literally going crazy. I wonder sometimes am I the only one who see's how we are killing each other, and how we are killing ourselves? I know that I am not alone in this feeling. But the extreme sadness of this world makes me look higher to the ultimate source of my "sense". During this birth month of mine I am having to readjust my sight. Looking up to a mighty God who made all of this. And looking deeper to a mighty purpose that is not tied to things, feelings, comfort, and money.

In each moment I am answering the question. "Who do you want to be when you grow up?" Because, ready or not, it's here. Grown-up is here and it is not a stable place. It's beautiful and free, but it's rocky too. And in some moments the ground is literally ripped from under your feet. And in some moments those same feet are climbing to the pinnacle of a mountain. That's what grown-up is like. It's not like what I had imagined. But it still can be.

Each moment and each breath are new. Bringing us closer to our future. I was stressed about my future. And I know the doubts will creep in again. Because they are pesky and they do their job well. But for as many moments as possible, I want to be better than that. I want moments of peace because God cares for me and will provide......he will show me what really matters. If I will trust him. I want moments of happiness. I want to be gloriously happy like the birds that wake me up in the morning. Just chirping away! There is a newly emerging natural and elemental part of Sabrina who LOVES nature. Not camping mind you, but nature. And one solution to some of my problems is to take as many moments as I can and be in nature.

Each moment is special. Each moment holds opportunity. And though I  have this kind of amazing knack for messing up moments, God is redeeming them and me. He is in each moment and as I learn and relearn that, the moments finally, finally mean something more than a neverending grasping for the wind.

PS- I say all of that to say this, though I still care about the job search and want the best job for me. I am choosing to get off of the emotional rollercoaster and instead take the path of "adventure". Maybe I will have a job by July or maybe I will be bunking down at Melanie's place as I continue to keep looking. Whatever happens I refuse to make a job my modern day idol anymore. I had to open my eyes and examine what was freaking me out about possibly being unemployed. I had to read some familiar Bible stories to remind me to chill out and instead care about things that matter more than my personal comfort and happiness. It's been interesting to say the least. I'll keep you all updated:) Enjoy your weekend!

Friday Tunes

* For this month I will feature artists I would love to see live in concert. In honor of my birth month. A time when everything seems possible!*  Seeing Adele live is on my bucket list for sure. Somewhere near the top under my big travel wishes. Enjoy your Friday:)