Saturday, April 21, 2012

Each moment

*THANK YOU to everyone for all of the ways that you have encouraged and motivated me in the last few weeks and months. I love you all and appreciate you deeply!*

Each moment of this life is precious. Just ask anyone who has suffered through loss. Just ask those who grieve or live in a cloud of disappointment. Each moment matters. And along the journey the ups and downs count too. Both things stressful and amazing make up our life moments. But the wonderful thing is that life for me is more than just moments.

Because I am trying to live a life that is obedient to Jesus Christ, my moments are stitched together with a thread of hope. It's a strong thread and the only way it will snap is if I do the cutting. I am coming to realize again and again that there is a higher and better purpose to life. The world is literally going crazy. I wonder sometimes am I the only one who see's how we are killing each other, and how we are killing ourselves? I know that I am not alone in this feeling. But the extreme sadness of this world makes me look higher to the ultimate source of my "sense". During this birth month of mine I am having to readjust my sight. Looking up to a mighty God who made all of this. And looking deeper to a mighty purpose that is not tied to things, feelings, comfort, and money.

In each moment I am answering the question. "Who do you want to be when you grow up?" Because, ready or not, it's here. Grown-up is here and it is not a stable place. It's beautiful and free, but it's rocky too. And in some moments the ground is literally ripped from under your feet. And in some moments those same feet are climbing to the pinnacle of a mountain. That's what grown-up is like. It's not like what I had imagined. But it still can be.

Each moment and each breath are new. Bringing us closer to our future. I was stressed about my future. And I know the doubts will creep in again. Because they are pesky and they do their job well. But for as many moments as possible, I want to be better than that. I want moments of peace because God cares for me and will provide......he will show me what really matters. If I will trust him. I want moments of happiness. I want to be gloriously happy like the birds that wake me up in the morning. Just chirping away! There is a newly emerging natural and elemental part of Sabrina who LOVES nature. Not camping mind you, but nature. And one solution to some of my problems is to take as many moments as I can and be in nature.

Each moment is special. Each moment holds opportunity. And though I  have this kind of amazing knack for messing up moments, God is redeeming them and me. He is in each moment and as I learn and relearn that, the moments finally, finally mean something more than a neverending grasping for the wind.

PS- I say all of that to say this, though I still care about the job search and want the best job for me. I am choosing to get off of the emotional rollercoaster and instead take the path of "adventure". Maybe I will have a job by July or maybe I will be bunking down at Melanie's place as I continue to keep looking. Whatever happens I refuse to make a job my modern day idol anymore. I had to open my eyes and examine what was freaking me out about possibly being unemployed. I had to read some familiar Bible stories to remind me to chill out and instead care about things that matter more than my personal comfort and happiness. It's been interesting to say the least. I'll keep you all updated:) Enjoy your weekend!

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