Tuesday, July 13, 2010

It was not always this way

* This is long but sheds some light on my past!*

Today I got a huge dose of something and I wanted to share. The older I get I keep on meeting people and expanding my circle to include people who didn't know little Sabrina. My Athens friends, and many of my Tally people don't know too much about me as a child. That is not a problem....it's just life.

Fast forward to today.

I gave a group presentation to my class and afterwards received some very sincere compliments about my presentation and speaking style. (Thank You!!! by the way) When I was at Roberts, as I would give my LCTA speeches I would also get some people who would say that they enjoyed my energy and presentation. All of these instances humbled me and today in particular reminded me of little Sabrina. In fact it's as if little me received the compliment. Let me share a little with you.

I was an intense child. Definitely happy and definitely verbal. Oh, the family stories about me and my mouth and funny/sarcastic moments. In elementary school however, I tested into Speech class. I talked very fast but also I slurred my r's and some other letter combinations. While speech was fun I became self conscious of my words. Very self conscious!! Very, VERY self conscious:( Even today there are certain words I don't like to say. Mainly words with an "rl" blend. Like in world. Reading aloud in class lost it's charm because most of my words would sound fine....but there were those few that I knew were not right. And little Sabrina...and Sabrina now liked to be right.

I worked hard in speech, improved and tested back out after 5th grade. However, the feelings still remained. I was NOT confident in public speaking. Friends, family, OK. School, formal settings, NOT  OK!

So all that to say. Even today when I stand up and present, the few moments right before I talk, little Sabrina gets in my head. She is still unsure and a little nervous and SO self-conscious. Her presence just reminds me of how far I have come. All of the encouraging words I receive I really internalize because it was not always this way!!! I have grown in my speaking abilities and that is a blessing from God.

Today in particular I got a dose of reality that reminded me of something. Hard work does pay off. People can overcome challenges and overcome them to find victory. As I walked home I smiled and said a grateful prayer. May I never forget how far I have come. May I stop always wishing life would be easier and instead embrace the good feelings that come from hard work and perseverance.

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