Wednesday, March 21, 2012

A need to talk

And maybe someday we will meet and maybe talk and not just speak...
-James Blunt

A few words from one song, from one album, from one artist, in one country in this great big world.
And yet, it moves me powerfully every time I hear it. It gets in my head and circles around and around. This idea of talking and not just speaking. Because I love verbal communication and I crave time to talk with those I love. That's just the plain truth of the matter.

And I am not alone in that either. I used to think that I was, that I was wanting too much from people. Then I realized that actually I was just brave enough to ask for what I need. There are so many silent people, who won't talk. They don't like it, they can't stand it, they are too busy for it, whichever.

And yet, I am finding that when you ask the right questions. People talk, they talk like no one has ever given them the time to share. They talk of feast and famine, of success and fear, of this and that and everything. And I am no different. I want to talk and share because I want you to know me. I want you to know my dreams and concerns and my spirit.

My voice is loud at times, and excited at times. My voice smiles, and it worries way to much. My voice is alive! My voice is alive! And in order to be known as the multi-faceted Sabrina, who is ever growing and changing and having "ah ha" moments. Well then, you will have to be with me for a bit. You will have to talk and I will have to talk and the complicated symphony of our conversations will become this thing of radiant beauty. And then, because I really care and you really care for me, we will talk again and again and the topics will change and the length will change and we will change. And to me, each conversation will be important because it's another chance to know one another.

It all boils down to the fact that I want people in my life that I can know. I guess we all do. It's not about numbers anymore, or location, or years shared together. It's becoming about quality and real honest to goodness sincerity. I am at a life space where I want to be known and loved. And I want to attract that same energy. And I want to be able, without bitterness, to let others be in their own different life spaces. Even when that means we no longer are in each others lives. Even when that means saying goodbye, to free up room to actually talk to others. It is not an easy thing, but it is healthy for me I am coming to realize.

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