Sunday, July 22, 2012

Committed, Christ-centered, Fun & Passionate

Sometimes, even though I am not even dating, I ponder marriage. Probably in the way that some married couples without children ponder life as parents. I guess it's kind of somewhere between daydreaming and my best hopes for my possible future reality. It's not an everyday thing though so don't panic! I have some more growing up to do before I could ever become someone's wife.

If I had to name 4 qualities that I want in my marriage they would be a marriage that is:
Committed, Christ-centered, Fun and Passionate

I am completely biased of course, but these 4 things sum up what I think are important between a married man and woman. Why these four? Here's my thinking....

Committed- I have SUCH a sensitive heart and spirit. It is not always the first thing you notice about me, it's much deeper down. Anyway, one of my worst nightmares would have to be someone cheating on me. It could play a part in my not dating much. When I think about getting to know someone and opening up yourself to care about them and then that trust being broken. It's like a punch in my heart. I can be strong through many things, but lack of commitment makes me weak. So, my marriage has to be committed, no ifs ands or irreconcilable differences. I am not saying perfection, or princely behavior. I am saying respectful love and open communication. You can't provide that, well then we could never ever work.
PS- I want to be the type of woman that my future husband will want to commit too, and vice versa. I pray commitment flow naturally from our love and care for each other.

Christ-centered- In today's broken society the only way I would ever get married is if it would be centered on Christ. With the world telling you to consider a "starter marriage" and hurry up and "file for a divorce" the still small voice that guides me and I pray my future husband need not be another human being. It sounds joyful to me to think about how a Christ centered marriage would enhance my life. Being able to share what truly matters with your love sounds sweet. Knowing that in spite of differences and "life" you and your husband are on the same team and neither of you is the captain. Now that is a marriage to dream of:) And a marriage I will wait for.

Fun- Laugh with me. Be silly and random with me. Create a lifetime of memories and special jokes that only we share. In my marriage I would hope to redefine fun as a couple. In the midst of life, I would need my husband to remind me of fun, when I would be pouty and down in the dumps. I need our marriage to not only be the fun of roller-coasters and hot funnel cakes. But also the fun of whispered movie commentary and volunteering with children.

Passionate- Ohh la la! I don't have to go into details here but the point is this. We are married, we better be attracted to each other. If I can't find undiscovered passion with you, well then I might as well stay single or keep looking. Both of us deserve more. When I think passionate of course I mean our love lives. But I also want a marriage that is passionate about life and living. No tip toeing around, no blending in and sneaking in and out of life. Let's both choose to be present and passionate about each other and the causes that are close to our hearts.

I am sure one day I will look back at this post. Hopefully it will be a good thing and if I am meant to be in a relationship it will be all of these things and more. The more is also exciting! The fact that there are things that have not even crossed my mind yet that could be meant for me! However, for now, like I always tell Melanie I have a great life to live. And while many I know and love are making the marriage commitment. I will be perfectly happy discovering more about myself, meeting and maintaining wonderful friendships, and traveling. However, I'm open to God's will in all parts of my life, including dating relationships.

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