Hush

I am a grown up now. I know that there are others who are more grown than me, but I am definitely not a child anymore. One way that I know this is the life lessons I am learning that were just not a part of my life when I was younger.

When I was a child, I spoke and thought as a child. All problems could be solved. Behind closed doors people were the same as out in public. Addiction was not even in my vocabulary. Neither was another word that I feel like society tries to cover up, and hush up because it is so very private and such a very hard and delicate situation. And that is a woman having a miscarriage.

Now, I am not, nor have ever, been pregnant, but I have plenty of friends who are and have been. This blogging land has opened my eyes more to the life stories of others. Healthy babies happen a lot. But sick babies get born too. Mothers are on bed rest for MONTHS. Women lose babies through miscarriages more than we would like to think.

Actually, let me rephrase that in the name of honesty. Women lose babies through miscarriages more than I ever thought about before in my life. It is a silent, desperate struggle and it is one of the earthly things I find myself praying about often. Because I just don't understand. And I don't think I ever will.

You see, as part of the Southern churched, family and babies are as ingrained as the air I breathe. Yet, I wonder how much damage we actually do when we question married couples about their lack of children. I am imagining that we actually do a LOT of harm with our wondering, questions, and assumptions.

My heart is heavy with compassion for those married couples who wish and want to have children. Children to love and cherish. Children to help grow into responsible and loving adults. Children to teach the love, mercy and grace that is a part of a relationship with Christ. And I don't even for the life of me understand why some have given birth again and again, and some have never had this blessing. Counselors, social workers, and others work with families and sometimes they don't even treat their children like the precious blessings that they are. Every educator can name students that they wish they could just take home with them. My friend, as a part of her job had to supervise visitation between teenage parents and a new born baby. New born baby! My heart cried out for the hundreds of people who would give anything for that baby, and the teenage parents who have already been deemed unfit and unsafe to even spend time alone with their child.

There is a hush that surrounds this painful subject. It is a deep and heavy and personal and medical issue.
There is a hush because there are no words sometimes, when the tears are falling heavily.
There is a hush because those words of disappointment, confusion, pain, and pure sadness just can't be verbalized.

My prayers are lifted for those I love who have this hardship in their lives. Instead of trite words to wrap this up, I will continue in fervent prayer and have hope for this hardship to be lifted and the pain to be healed.
God please provide comfort, and gather us close to you, when we are feeling so far away and alone.