Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Did that really Happen?

Good Afternoon 2013. Greetings from a tired and confused Sabrina.

If you had told me that I would spend my New Years Eve in the ER, I would have scoffed.
If you had told me that this visit to Florida would be full of shared sorrow and surprises, I might not have believed you.
If you had told me that I would be one huge ball of confusion about this new year....well I might have believed THAT.

Anyway, this is a more somber New Year. I am hopeful for great things, but it is a little bit of a reach this year to have that abundant joy of "completely brand new possibilities" that usually comes so easily. But, I think the feeling will come back, if I don't rush it.

After spending the hours of 9pm to 5am in the ER, actually seeing the ball drop from the waiting room, as my injured daddy nursed his scraped and cut face. Well, I am left this day, wondering did that really happen? After the changes and different emotions of this past week, I was sure that we were in for a peaceful New Years surrounded by church family. Maybe, I need to stop being so "sure" of things;) Maybe that is just setting myself up for disappointment.

But, my daddy took a hard fall and ended up breaking his nose and needing stitches. Scary! I dislike seeing him hurting. However, God was faithful, and he was not hurt as badly as he could have been. I am here and able to assist in small ways as my mama plays nurse. And I have a calm mama and sister, who helped me stay peaceful when I could have easily frayed apart emotionally.

As I sat, on what was surely a germ-ridden chair, I thought I could cry in disappointment. REALLY! Is this REALLY how I am going to start a brand new, sparkling, hopeful 2013? But, there is no room for that kind of thinking. Better, to be thankful for life and health. Better to be happy that at least I was with my parents who I love. Better, to remember all of the people who love us. Better, to hope that things will get better and brighter as we travel along day by day into this New Year.

2013, I want so badly for you to be good to me. I am at a place of needing care and comfort and some gentleness. All I can do is wait and work diligently on finding peace within my heart/spirit. Here is to a brand new year, may I find excitement and abundant joy, and a refilling of hope beyond what I can imagine right now.  

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