Sunday, November 25, 2012

Allowing myself to miss

I am officially on the post-Thanksgiving low that accompanies a blessed time with family and friends. For the last week I have been surrounded with those who have known me for years and years. And it was good!

And so today I sit here, and ponder going back to work. And I know that once I get back in the grind I will be fine. But, right now I am allowing myself a little pity party. In a quiet apartment that was just filled with the laughter and energy of family.

I am allowing myself to feel sad because in truth I miss my amazing family more this year than I have ever in my entire life. And it would not help anything by burying that feeling away. I might as well allow it to have its place, so that I can move on to the many other things that are good in my life.

I am allowing myself a few tiny tears for the small and random bursts of loneliness that come upon me during this season of family and friends and couples and groups. For though my sister does not believe it, I would like to date casually or seriously. And thankfully I am not desperate or anything, but there is a slight frustration in feeling like I am in a dating desert, while others just have to crook their finger and could have all the dates that they wanted.

I am allowing myself this time of missing because a new year is coming. And I am more confused about 2013 than I ever was about 2012 (that is for another post).

To wrap it up, it is good to write some of this "stuff" down. I'm not invincible, or really that tough. I'm just Sabrina a woman who has grand dreams and wishes and believes in being positive. I'm just little ol' me living this little ol' life and finally allowing myself to sail with the ups and downs. And I have many ups, I really really do!

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